I have been out of the blog picture for many many moons. Time as in the 12:60 frequency has absolutely lost its meaning. It just operates as a camisa de fuerza, a very constricting frame that continues to attempt to keep us under control. I have been reading about AIDS and how it has been used to corruptly by the system. I read about this orphanage in New York, the Incarnation Children’s Center where they use orphans from HIV-AIDS mothers to make AIDS drugs trials on, saying that they are fighting to save their lives when it is obvious that the drugs are destroying them. Then i saw the video of Severn Suzuki, a 12 year old speaking at the UN Conference of the Environment in Brazil. She told the adults her perspective on how they are destroying the world day by day. And how bad it is that those of us who have want so much more all the time.
I should be sleeping now. But instead i am being guided to reflect upon my current status as ecosapiens to be. I am intoxicating my self with negative emotions caused by unconscious behaviors established growing up in a toxic environment as people are told lies about their immunodeficiencies created by toxic environments, and children have o go out and fight for their right to see their own children be able to enjoy what will be left in this crazy world.
Plant grow in our green house. Cabbage, 2 kinds of kale, onions, squash, calendula, rosemary... My 4 year old child knows what compost is and helps us remember to turn the lights off when us grown ups forget. I am surrounded by ecologically sound consumption options (for the most part), most, if not all my friends recycle and are somewhat involved in the local food movement, at least. I don´t know when was the last time i heard about car theft in my town. I live in a bubble. I am 100% committed to living a green life. My actions speak very loudly. But the only way i can manage to do that is by not getting the news. Not watching TV. Avoiding almost entirely to hear about what my fellow humans, the rest of species and the elements are suffering. I imagine it, i feel it when i am meditating, praying. But i live in a bubble. And when it bursts in nights like this one where i am driven to read about HIV because of a loved one, i feel absolute dispair even though i will be eating my own home grown veggies for many months to come. Even though i have this ecovillage where we are creating a real community, organized, productive ecologically, where people truly want to live together again, because we know that only together we can do this job... i feel total dispair because even though i live in this bubble, my body is suffering all that negativity that is what intoxicates me and i don´t know how to stop it, just like they don´t know why they think it is a good idea to do aids drug trials on already miserable children, just like they don´t know how to stop the radiation from leaking, or how to cover back the ozone layer, or live without oil...
Tomorrow my plants will be bigger.
